Online marketing is the cog that drives the wheel of capitalism. The industry is expected to be worth more than $740 billion by the end of this year. In this industry, companies like Google and Meta are king.
The saying goes “If you’re not paying for a product, then you are the product.” So keep in mind the real cost of using Google Search and your favourite social networks.
The majority of revenue for the likes of Facebook and Instagram comes from selling advert space to companies like Takealot, Shein, Temu, and many others, so they can suggest targeted products to you, the user. In 2023, Meta made $134 billion from this act alone.
Some people say social media stalks you. It will offer you products based on your internet habits using cookies that collect your information without you knowing – or without you reading the disclaimer (we all do it).
I fear for my web habits because below are some of the most bizarre things I was advertised on Instagram this year from local sellers. I have been screenshotting bizarre products since April. I received most of these seemingly with no explanation, leaving me baffled. Be warned, these are very dregs of the Takealot and Temu catalogues.
Harvey Birdman (2008) for the PlayStation Portable (PSP) – R705
A steal at nearly a thousand bucks for the three people out there who still play PSP.
Funky 3D Celebrity Cosplay Mask – Kanye – around R100
When you need to look your best while going on a Kanye Quest.
PS2 DVD Remote for the PlayStation 2 – R249
We couldn’t find this item on Takealot when we looked for it. This screenshot is all I have as evidence that I didn’t dream it up in a drunken stupor.
DK “Sorrow of Frost” sword building blocks – R3 135
Legally distinct* LEGO Frostmourne – “Sorrow of Frost Sword” – is the reason we are living in a world with all the problems we currently have.
A World of Warcraft Cataclysm Expansion pack (2010) disk – R275
A disk version of World of Warcraft’s 2010 expansion pack, Cataclysm, believed by many to be the expansion that ruined the game forevermore. Essentially just a CD key because you’re still going to have to download the entire game client (80GB), and the key may not even work anymore because of changes at Blizzard.
This makes sense because Cata was the very height of WoW’s popularity which led to an overstocking of the game, so much so some copies are sitting in the far back of Takealot warehouses.
Latex frog head mask – R899
If you’ve been on the internet for long enough you’d know this dreadful visage is of no simple frog.
PlayStation 4 Dualsense controller hooka pipe holder – R698
If I ever saw someone who really had this I’d think they were the coolest dude ever.
Alt: When hubbly is life but game is wife.
FIFA Street 2 (2006) for the Nintendo DS – R395
Thabo Mbeki was still president when this game came out.
1936 Ethiopia 25 Santeem Emperor Haile Selassie I – R995
እዚያ ላሉ ሳንቲሞች አፍቃሪዎች። ይህ በጣም ውድ የሆነ ትንሽ የስብስብ ክፍል ነው ነገር ግን በመጨረሻ ዋጋ ያለው ነው.
Set of lock and key for a vending machine – around R113
Baffled for what I did to get the algorithm to suggest this to me. Probably the most niche thing I have ever been advertised.
Anchovy bait spray – R140
Between suggestions for ancient videogames there is a call for me to embrace my inner fisherman.
Alt: Fish fear me. Women fear me. No living creature dare look me in the eye.
………………… – R????
Every day we stray further from God’s glory.
Simulation Collection (PC download) – R135
Oldheads will recognise this abomination stalking bargain bins and that one videogame corner in Top CD. Now we can also ignore their existence in the digital world as well.
High Waist Silicone Fake Buttock Panty Shaperwear – around R200
Now when someone says “hold on to your butt” you actually can.
