The Crucible is a weapon that featured prominently in DOOM (2016) and DOOM Eternal (2020) and now you can own one too, but it’s positively tiny.

This version of the Crucible in its sword form is a letter opener that is being officially sold by DOOM publisher Bethesda on its online merch store.

Those who somehow have a need for a letter opener based on a fictional weapon will need to fork over $45 (~R720) as a pre-order for when the product launches in August this year.

For your money you’re getting a tiny Crucible that is made out of zinc alloy with a sheath and base, both in polyresin.

The letter opener portion is 17.02 centimetres and the base plus sheath is 7.11 centimetres tall and 6.35 centimetres wide. When the letter opener is inside of the base it’s 20.32 centimetres tall.

This is a far cry from the 1:1 and wearable helmets that have been made for classic DOOM and DOOM Eternal.

Even if the size doesn’t bother you, we’re disappointed that there’s no paint application or any colour variation at all with just a bland metallic colour throughout. The blade of the Crucible is supposed to be pure energy and some coloured resin or something similar could have worked well but, that’s now what we get.

Also a disappointment is that the characteristically flared end of the sword is only represented in the sheath. The letter opener itself has a more traditional pointed end. Sure this probably makes it work better as an actual letter opener but it loses so many style points.

We get a video of what the Crucible letter opener looks like in the embed below. For some weird reason this just cuts to black after 30 seconds and stays that way for the remaining three and a half minutes.